… and we’re not talkin about the feline kind…
From Urban dictionary…Cougar
An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity — particularly the true hotties — as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.
That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn’t know existed, I’m goin back for more.
In the media, the term “cougar” is often used in a pejorative way…
It seems to me that the goal is to control an adult woman’s sexuality… by giving this group of women a label — and not a generally positive one like “pretty” or “smart” — the goal seems to be to discourage the behavior — or to disparage the people who make the choice.
To me — it’s a label similar to “slut” or “whore”. Women who like sex often get these kinds of labels… and in this instance it’s a case of the women who are attracted to — and attractive to — younger men who get the label.
Notice — there isn’t a label for men who like to have sex with younger women (of legal age…) — they’re admired and have shows dedicated to them..
Just like there isn’t a label for guys who like sex…. (maybe because it’s assumed that all guys like sex — a lot) -the term “man” needs to modify the term “slut” or “whore”… when the man likes to have sex with lots of women.
I’ll readily admit that women want to control the sexuality of other women, probably more often than men do — so they contribute to the process of shaming the label — to be honest, some of the most sexist and derogatory things I’ve ever heard said about womens’ sexuality have come from female mouths.
I’ve also known some very sexually liberated men -men who think that women should make their sexual choices with the same freedom that men have. and those men I’d like to think are liberated and possibly third-wave feminists — even if they don’t want to admit it…. (Andy, I’m lookin at you ).
I know that not all people think the actions of “cougars” are bad –
If it were the case that the general society accepted the choices of women to date younger guys, a label wouldn’t be necessary… that’s all I’m sayin..
Of course, recent discussions have led to amusing variations on the phrase “trying to control female sexuality” — my favorite was “I’m not trying to put my foot in your feminist baby maker”…. which needed some translation — but, it works for me… I’d rather not have anybody’s foot in there :).