Time for a new car / In memory of Don Anderson

I have been in a slight funk since the ill advised trade of my beloved ’85 Trans Am for my ’97 Chevy Blazer. I could go on about the mechanical difficulties I’ve had with the new one…………….but I’ll suffice it to say I just want this heap out of my sight a.s.a.p.

Why did I do it you ask?  Two hundred horsepower and rear wheel drive with wide tires simply won’t cut it in a Minnesota winter. It would have also been a low down cryin’ shame to expose her to winter elements.

I’ve been lucky enough to have had lots of cars in my life, though I have never enjoyed the experience of being at a car dealership.

When I was first married, I wanted to surprise my wife Aimee with a brand new car for us on her birthday. I snuck around behind her back, making all the financial arrangements and cleaning our valuables out of our trade in. Against better advice I decided to do business with Wals_r Ford here in the cities. Ill advised because they had the reputation for sneaky underhanded last minute changes in the contract right before you get the keys.

This was not my first rodeo. I had already done my time in the finance chair in the financial officers desk………always kinda feeling like that time I woke up in Tijuana with my ass hurting. Still I always tried to understand the changes and held my tongue.

Car contracts are the form the dealership writes a dozen numbers on that you sign blindly. They then circle the number they like best and you regret it for the next 60 months.

The final adjustments this time however were too much………Like a big shot this guy writes the payment on a piece of paper and say’s to me “this is the number we like”   To which I replied………”I’d like you to go get my trade in back from the auction, I’d like to put my checkbook away and I’d like to slap you on your forehead with my sweaty nuts!!!!!!!!!!”

We were able to renegotiate at that point.

My dear friend would like me to get a small Toyota……..it makes sense. they last forever and get great mileage. It would suit my upcoming needs perfectly.

But I’m wounded………something is missing how about a low mileage Z car from California? Vrrrrrm Vrooooom!!!!!

Here’s a choice everyone laughs at………..how about a conversion van?   You know the the over-sized cubes with the giant engines, furnished by lazyboy that practically have to tow their own fuel trailer??????????

My daughter calls them Creeper Vans and considering my scrapes with Johnny Law I doubt they will allow me the personalized license plate FRECNDY.

But what people don’t get is that I would like a van because I want to spend the summers making memories with my son that he will always remember. Just like my dad did, just like Don Anderson did, just like all the dads in my neighborhood did.

God’s Speed Mr. Anderson

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