Vicodin Dream #363

In case anyone is concerned about my recreational use of prescription medication, I do have a legitimate reason for pain killers as well as antibiotics. At work Friday I was attacked by a Great White.              Great White Spaniel that is. Due to the holiday weekend, we were at near capacity at the kennel and my co-worker forgot to mention this particular mutt has some serious anti social behavior. So as I was trying to make friends and apply his collar I got bit. Not just bit, bit hard complete with violent head shaking for about two seconds.

Not being on to go crying to the emergency room I just poured on some hydrogen peroxide and went about my business. Later that night I noticed some itching and some increasing pain.    However I went to work the next morning and it seemed to loosen up. Later while relaxing at the coffee shop I noticed the swelling had increased and the red itchy part was now creeping up my hand. We called Patty’s mom who is a retied RN and asked advice……………..the advice was go to the urgent care, not later now!!!!!!

Doctor Scott agreed with Patty’s mom and I had quite the infection going on. So along with the antibiotic I was prescribed Vicodin and followed the instructions to the letter……..take 4-8 per hour with rum and coke.

My dream started at an ex girlfriends apartment. I remember feeling quite curious and jealous about who she was seeing now which is odd because I’m neither curious or jealous. She was definitely hiding something. Turns out, what she was hiding was the fact that she and her girlfriend had had defrauded her credit card company furnishing her entire apartment and wardrobe lavishly. Whew……….only a felony. I was so glad she wasn’t seeing anyone else I offered to do the snow removal for her driveway and this is where my invention idea came from.

Think of a cross between a snow plow and a high powered Segway.  My machine however only has only one heavy duty wheel and the part you stand on is a cross between a snowboard and a ski. The gyroscopic program controls offsetting the hydraulics that lift and turn the snow blade. It has one stationary handle bar and the second is like the handle of a shovel which controls the movement of the blade and direction of the drive wheel.

The point of my new invention is not only to remove the snow but have fun doing so. The machine in my dreams was very quick and nimble almost giving you the feeling of water skiing or slow speed snow boarding with tricks.

So if anyone has a relative that works for John Deere or Western Plow and wants to get in on my new invention contact me here!!!!!!


One Response

  1. “Take 4-8 per hour with rum and coke”? Priceless. I hope that your hand is feeling better soon.

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