If Greg Louganis can have a penis in his mouth why can’t Micheal Phelps have a bong in his?
If Greg Louganis could have his own penis in his mouth………..well that beats Curling.
A friend noticed a very tall man. He was also very fat and sweaty. I reminded her she may have to use a foot stool to give him a rim job.
Andy: Once out of boredom I snorted one of my ambien.
Patty: Yea how was that?
Andy: I dunno I fell asleep.
I had a spammer answer my craigslist personal ad today. You know, attach a half naked 19 year old’s picture even though his email indicates his name is Goeff. The response simply said “What would you like me to do”? I said I would like you to fuck yourself and I hope you get stabbed on Christmas.
I bought Buddy a squeaky toy tonight, but it’s shaped like a ball instead of a bone so he doesn’t squeak it, he just carries it around……………..OBVIOUSLY, Duh!
I went into the leather coat store tonight looking for a Christmas present for my Daughter, turns out I fit into a large now!!!!!!
If I smear sticky stuff on someone’s junk and then pull it off rapidly I could get paid 100 buck’s………….tee hee there is a God!!!!
I got a text from my daughter asking me when the last time I smoked Gange was………….yeah am I having that conversation?
Buddy was licking himself inappropriately and I asked my uncle if he wished he could do that? He responded “I’m sure I could if he would move his head”.
Today I was trying to get my health insurance fixed (so I could get my Citalopram). I was given three sheets of paper explaining my right to privacy at the exact same time I was given two forms that included my full name, social security number and date of birth to give to employers to verify my income.
I think maybe it’s better I have my Citalopram now.
Filed under: Other random stuff |