University of Minnesota Parking Nazi

Yesterday, Max and I were out on a photo expedition. We spent most of our time near the stone arch bridge, walking around, taking snaps and having fun. I figured we might as well swing over by the University to take a picture of this…………..thing.

Parking at the U is a full contact sport. To make matters worse, the best angle for pictures (if there is a good angle) is on a cramped two lane river road in the heart of the campus right near the walking bridge.

I had also neglected to grab any change for parking meters, I only had a credit card.

Even if you don’t consider summer road construction, the U area is full of one way streets……walking plaza’s, do not enter’s……emergency vehicle routes and bike lanes. If you miss your target the first time, you may find yourself in another part of town before you can take another stab at it.

I found an open space between car’s. Unfortunately, it was directly in front of a fire hydrant and it was clearly marked one should not park there.

The Museum de’ Yucko was only about 100 feet away and to get my picture would take about one minute.

I swooped into the spot…..put on my flashers…..left Max in the car  (I could clearly see him at all times) and made a break for it.

Sure enough about 30 seconds later. there was the parking squad, stopped in the opposite lane, trying to figure out how to turn around and cite me for my crime against society.

I jogged back to the car before the parking Nazi could get situated, and said “sorry I was just taking a quick picture”.

Two things would have been acceptable:

1) She writes me a ticket…………fine, I broke the rules.

2) She has a sense of humor about it and lets me off with a shake of the finger.

Alas there was a third option…………….Comedy.

She says in a nasty and sarcastic voice…………”why don’t you take a picture of that no parking sign” Followed by………… “blah blah scold scold bitch whine bitch”

In my head I reply by grabbing a handful of my crotch with my left hand and display the F-Bomb with the right and say “Take a picture of this ya ugly hooker”

But what came out instead was “OK………..Thank You……Have a nice day” with a polite wave.

I guess it is possible to think like a New Yorker and act like a Minnesotan.



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