Important qualities in a person…

As those of you who know me in person already know — I’ve had some life changes in the past few months..

So many of them have been the result of previous (and very difficult) life experiences we don’t need to get into now — suffice it to say that I see life, my life and the world in a very different way now than I did 5 years ago.

As Andy so rightly pointed out to me, I’m a philosopher at heart, so I over-think things — I try to categorize things, remember, recall and analyze things.  I think I’ve always been that way, but my perspective has shifted and I now find some things more or less important than I have in the past.  This may be disturbing to some, but it’s just the way things have ended up.

Part of that change is that I’m not so quick to judge people on past actions.  Strong and continuing patterns are another story, but when someone has done something wrong, realized it as wrong and avoids doing it in the future, I consider it old news.  I suppose it’s a bit of wisdom to realize that some good people can do bad things and it’s not my place to judge them on their prior bad choices.  period.

Much more important is how they are now and what they want to do in the future.  A good person treats others with kindness, caring and respect — even when they don’t want something.  A great person accepts the flaws of others and realizes they themselves aren’t perfect, so why should perfection be expected.  A wonderful person accepts the whole person and their friends and family with open arms — realizing that a person doesn’t come to be who they are in some kind of weird vacuum.  Rather, their past and those close to them shape them in many ways… to really love someone is to accept the whole package not just parts.

So — this is a bit of a change from how I used to see the world and it’s an aspirational post at best — I still get judgy, snotty and mean sometimes, but now I feel bad when I do so.

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