Shopping list… guess what we’re up to..

First an announcement:  blogging will be light, we’re heading to the north woods to spend New Year’s Eve at the Knotty Pine — following in the footsteps of my parents… It’s 1985 up there in terms of technology, so I’ll blog when I get home next week…

Until then, a puzzle — here is my shopping list for the trip…


Paper plates, cups, plastic utensils

Wine for me

Glass Head


Glow sticks


dog collar

Essential stuff from home:

fake flowers

lazy susan

navy blue sheet


My friend P…

Let me tell you about P…

She’s a lot like the older sister I never had.  She’s my friend, my confidant, my mentor and she does kick ass hair.  We worked together at the hair supply place for many years — she supported my move to a more flexible job that let me finish not only my BA but my Ph.D. coursework. P is one of those friends you can be separated from for a long time and things just click back when you’re together again.

About 3 years ago I walked into her salon in Omaha and shocked the hell out of her.  I was bald from chemo.

I couldn’t figure out how to call her and tell her on the phone — it was just too hard.  I wanted to see her, to let her know what had happened to me and I needed her hug and hair advice — so I went to see her.  I also wanted her to see that I was ok — to be able to look me in the eyes and know that this was just something that happened to me, it wasn’t the end of me.

Since the ex stopped teaching in Omaha, I saw P less often — but when I’d have to go to Nebraska for dissertation things I’d make a hair appointment (because my hair did come back) and we’d talk — I miss her whenever someone else does my hair, because neither the hair nor the conversation is as good as it is with P.

I found out today that P has two kinds of cancer… breast cancer and a much more scary kind of cancer… she’s in the middle of chemo and having some trouble.  It makes me sad to be 400 miles away from her, even though I know she has a wonderful husband and family and many friends around her — I still want to visit her, give her a hug and have a chat..

I want to tell her that it’s ok to be bald.

She’s a picky eater anyway (nothing spicy, she’s a good Nebraska girl after all) — so taste changes won’t be huge for her —

I want to tell her that there is life after cancer.  All of this is scary — as it should be — but that doesn’t mean you become a CANCER PATIENT…. which is oddly like being a HUSKER FAN, except Husker fans get to drink beer… cancer is something that happens to you, it isn’t who you are.  The medical professionals around you will make it easy to become CANCER PATIENT — and I’d love to be around to help her stay P.

I want to bring her avocados — because they taste amazing during chemo.

I want to bring her all the hats and scarves I couldn’t wear when I was bald because they were too small for my enormous head.  P knows that I have an enormous head… she comments on it when she does my hair.  I also have a lot of hair for a natural blonde… and only P knows when I started getting gray hairs..

I want to bring her the one hat that fit — because it has good karma… and I don’t need it right now.

I want to give her a hug, talk about our lives and give her some time to be distracted from the hospital routine until she needs a nap.

I want to go to her house and cook and clean — lots of small portions of mild food — and some normal food for her amazing husband and family.

I want to make things ok for the woman who is my soul-sister…. and I’m afraid I can’t.

Cancer sucks.

Debaters — Where are they now?

I started coaching debate at Creighton University in 1998… yea, that’s a long time ago.

I’m facebook friends with many of my former debaters… All of them were amazing students to work with.  They had (and I hope have) hopes and dreams — passion and intelligence — and a strong desire to see the world become a better place.  While they were sometimes frustrating, the work was always rewarding and I miss working closely with them.  I don’t miss the drama and stress of tournaments and I certainly don’t miss the debate travel — but, I do miss my debaters.  Here’s a RBOC (well, really RBODebaters) run down of where they are now — in no particular order… I also included some folks from our “sister” school in Nebraska…

T:  Coaching debate, winning national championships (yes — two) and going to grad school on the west coast.

D:  T’s partner when I was coaching — last I knew he was graduating from his four year and he’s probably living some kind of hippy-hipster lifestyle someplace beautiful.  He loves the mountains and the north woods —

S:  My first debater to die — when she died she had a new job and a new man — and was happy.

D:  He’s in grad school — his first year in a Ph.D. program after finishing a master’s.

K:  living the life in NYC — her creative impulses make for interesting facebook updates.

B:  getting married, being an attorney in the cheese state.

J:  aka the ex… finishing law school and hopefully his dissertation.

L:  has a Ph.D. in lit and a job!! Yea for any lit Ph.D. with a job… teaching interesting stuff like zombie lit.

JT:  has a Ph.D. in history and a job!!! Being a history professor is just about right!

P:  is an officer in the military with the JAG.

C:  Selling cars and wanting to get back to teaching — posting really funny facebook status updates!

M:  Attorney, married and seems quite happy.

JW:  A minister in Wisconsin!  I wonder if he jots notes for his sermons on his hands 🙂 ?

Winter Solstice..

We’ve just passed the shortest day of the year… sure, every “day” has 24 hours, but in our northern land, we have varying amounts of daylight.

As of today (well, technically yesterday) the days start getting longer until Summer Solstice, which has the most daylight of the year…

This is also a special day for me, as it’s my bestest friend ever’s birthday.. now he’s the same age as me again…

I was told not to make a big fuss about it — so I won’t.. suffice it to say that I’m glad you managed to make another trip around the sun — and that we have many more.  Maybe next year we’ll celebrate another trip around the planet at Carhenge… one can only hope :).




This cartoon has a rich history in my marriage — the Ex will get it like nobody else…

My new laptop is a tablet, which means I can use a stylus to write on documents — it’s small, sweet and now can actually access the internet (shock of shocks!)… considering the fact that the first one didn’t do that and I spent three hours or so of my winter break day with ITS while they figured out that they should swap my laptop for someone else’s…

Oh well, I have a work laptop for the first time in my life, and I love it.


Well, Andy says men are dogs…

and apparently dogs are men?

Girls who read..

This post is pretty much perfect